It has been awhile since I last posted. There were good reasons for that. I was in the process of moving over the course of many months. I have been doing a lot of reflecting and have acquired a renewed appreciation for my sacramental roots.
My wife and I (more so her), had to leave behind a big part of our past in the moving process. She lived in the house I shared with her for fifteen-years, for forty-four out of her almost forty-five years. Though we both had to say good-byes and do a lot of releasing in order to move forward, she had to do much more, having grown up in that two-story colonial that just became too big for the both of us to maintain.
In going through the Course Companions program for the Circle of Atonement last year, having started in 2018 reading the Complete and Annoted Edition of the Text of A Course in Miracles, I had the opportunity to experience original content given to Helen Shuchman, scribe of “The Course”. It was eye-opening and it expanded my understanding of Jeshua’s message for our times. Reading the original notes she received through the inner voice that led to her dictation, I came to think about what I was holding onto in the past that needed letting go, something I thought I had done through the use of artistic expression, creative writing, poetry, painting, making 3D sculptures, shadow work, and more.
Through the packing and moving process, I saw my wife experience many degrees of emotions and insights as she had to make choices about what to keep and what to let go of. We down-sized by a thousand square feet into a log cabin set in the country, the exact set up we had been looking for. Now, months after the move is complete and having spent the holidays in our new home for the first time, I notice that my wife is seems more free. Free of guilt, free of grief, free of being surrounded by both wonderful and painful memories that she could not escape in our old house. I pray that she continues to enjoy this new sanctuary as we make it our own.
“Only loving thoughts are true”, teaches A Course in Miracles. That is something we are to keep in mind as we look back at the past and this past year too. If that is true, tragedy and loss can be viewed in a new light. We take with us, all the loving thoughts and memories of the people we were in relationship with that may no longer be with us or in our physical life anymore. It is hard to let go, but what we can do, is integrate memories into our innermost being and turn to them when we want to experience a certain sentiment, especially when we love or hold something or someone dear to us.
When my other half and I joined in Holy Matrimony and made a life-long commitment, we shared in a common goal. This was the beginning of our holy relationship, something that “The Course” speaks a great deal about. Part of the journey in the holy relationship is going through a period of discomfort, I have learned through those I have called my teachers and guides. I think now, after the trials and tribulations that we have faced together, we are moving into a new phase of our relationship, one of renewal, healing, reconciliation, remembrance of our true identity, and a life rooted in love.
As one of my spiritual directors said long ago, moving can be cathartic. Man was it hard and wow, did it take a lot of hard work and effort. But as we continue to settle in our “Quiet Sanctuary” in the woods away from noise and traffic, maybe we can hear the voice of the Divine more clearly now.
We both have much to be thankful for. Change is inevitable, but not always a bad thing. I am happy with the decisions we made to begin a new chapter in our lives. Now, moving into a new decade, it is time to take on a new perspective, both individually, in our relationships, and collectively as a human race. May we all do so, living from the heart. Best wishes to all.