DAY 52

Spend two minutes contemplating each affirmation. If any one of the five affirmations appeals to you more than another, you may spend more time centering on that one.

The following ideas will be reviewed today:


What upsets and seems to threaten the state of Perfect Primordial Calmness, is not really present. It is not there, here, or anywhere. What I see then is a distorted subconscious, subjective mind fragment that is intruding upon Radical Right Perception of True Reality consisting of Eternal Spirit, Energy, and Cosmic Causal Thought. What I see is just a mirage in the desert my private mind made, a massive hallucination and egoic mind projection out onto the movie screen, the world of multiplicity, called prakriti. The emotionally charged distortions are part of a reactive process, a programmed response to what my ego thinks is going to cause pain, suffering, and annihilation of it.


What is truly Real cannot cause me to have nightmares. Nor can it have any power over me to cause me to be in turmoil or suffering of any kind. The Truly Real brings only Shanti-Peace. In the moments of absent-mindedness, when I am in some kind of self-made turmoil or suffering, it is because I have substituted Reality with avidya-illusions that I concocted. Those avidya-illusions have caused me suffering and anxiety because I have tried to make them real, and thus regard True Reality as illusory and without the essence of Ananda-Bliss which belongs to it. Not a single thing in the fullness of Father-Mother’s creation is affected by this delusion I have made. I need to accept and be in Divine-Realization that I come to be upset by something that doesn’t exist.


Out of all the possible things to perceive, I see only a privatized, fragmented past. I have flashbacks that scramble and confuse my orientation to True Reality.


Mental visions and interpretations of the past in the form of memories, flash backs, emotional and visceral highly charged associations/experiences cloud Radical Right Perception and Divine Realization from revealing True Reality of Communion with God Mind through Christ Mind to me. In seeing only the past projected out onto the screen of my life, I experience the split-mind. It is because of these factors that the immediacy of the present moment in the form of God Revealed Holy Instants outside of space-time, dissolves the past from having any major importance in my attempts to see True Reality. However the past experienced mind-fragments, dissociations, forgetfulness, time spent out of alignment with God Mind severely impacts the quality of seeing and the ability to see that I have always been in perfect Primordial First Right Relationship or in Christ Mind Yoga-Union with the Divine Dreamer.


Nothing that I see means anything because I superimpose past mental structures and thought out onto other people, onto the Unified God Allness, and onto events and happenings.


In seeing projections, mind fluctuations, and thoughts of the past almost everywhere I look, I alone have given/ascribed all the meaning that my subjective mind has determined any given encounter should have.


I don’t comprehend what I think I am seeing now, because of the interference of past programmed thinking, that I have projected onto all things. What I see and encounter now in most instances isn’t True Witnessed Reality undistorted. My thoughts about the world and my place in it do not mean anything because events in the psychologically constructed time function are neutral and devoid of any meaning. Because of this I am never truly disturbed.


All emotional uprisings the inner tidal waves of reactivity that surface within my body-mind-vehicle-chariot housing my unscathed soul, stem from the idea that the phantasms I project impede clear-seeing, creating inner havoc instead of inner peace.

No matter where in this dream world I look, what I think I see, I try to sabotage, judge, or punish with my private thoughts and I have the audacity to claim that this is what true seeing is. I use the past to persecute almost everyone through my thoughts and the use of words or actions that stem from those thoughts, thus making them into my rivals and foes. If I could but forgive first myself and honestly embrace the remembrance of my True Christed Self, I would be a vessel of healing, sending out magnetic vibrations consisting of blessings, consecrating everyone and everything my eyes gaze upon. If this could be so, there would be absolutely no remembered hurts, pain stored in the body-mind, or resentments that my egoic-ahamkar tries convincing me happened in the past. And so I choose again. Looking out with a loving heart-mind matrix on everything that I was blinded from previous to this Holy Instant of Now, where a miracle healed my perception and gave me clear-seeing clairvoyance.


What I habitually see or perceive is something that is not really present right now. It is a mirage in the desert wilderness of the storehouse or matrix from which I was begotten to create in. I chose this misperception about the invention of time as something that is real instead of taking part in the Divine Dreaming-Cosmic-Play of Creation-forces like I was meant to throughout eternity.


What I see are mind fragments and emotions attached to memories experienced biologically in the limbic system of the ego created body’s brain, that I chose to project outwards into the space-time continuum matrix, where manifested forms begin to appear through quantum phenomena of consciousness.


The apparitions or ghosts I project onto the Reality Light-Continuum called the Unified Field of God Essence, are not real. They are hallucinations of my ego mind, that aspect I experience when I forget Edenic Bliss as a constant Reality, the only Reality. When I fall into hypnotic trances of maya, relativity, subjectivity, I get tangled in a web of lies that I believe are true. Past points of reference cloud my seeing, because I am obsessed by them. Mental restlessness is the result of my preoccupation with the past. The resulting mental fluctuations called ‘vrittis’, or whirlpools of energetic pulsations in the form of feeling are the agents of massive perceptual distortion.


Why do I insist on seeing only my individual, false-self’s thoughts? Why do I want to see what I think happened in a distant past, but really did not in truth and actuality. No wonder I cannot interpret what I think I see as it really is, untainted. I take this moment to remind myself that I attach myself to what I call the haunting memories of the past to block the Ananda-Bliss and Shanti-Peace of the Now from rising up as a new dawn in my mind. I need to accept that my false-self has been trying to use the construct of time as a weapon against the Divine Source of All-That-Is. Beginning now, I surrender what I have called the past for all these years, and let it be healed, then dissolved into dust then nothingness. I now realize, that in doing this, I am not losing anything, rather I am liberated from the karmic burden I have been carrying for far too long.


I have created many obstacles and blocks to clear seeing in this moment through the wrong use of brain faculties and the self-constructed personality that fails to see the True Reality in its naked beauty, wonder, fullness of Radiant Perfection, the Allness made Manifest. The lens and window to Inner Seeing is obstructed by haunting thought imprints that I haven’t surrendered, released, nor been self-delivered from the subconsciously entrenched phantoms of past neurotic-skeletons-in-the-closet guilt. Guilt, bias, and pre-conceived judgment-notions along with patterns of reactivity stemming from ingrained neural grooves, cloud my ability to be present Here and Now.


If I fail to see True Reality in its naked beauty, wonder, fullness of Radiant Perfection, the Allness made Manifest in the formlessness of Light, Endless Love, Ananda-Bliss, Shanti-Peace, and Pure Potentiality, I must admit that I do not see anything at all. My only function is to see what is right Now. I accept that there is not a choice to interpret what I thought occurred in moments past or in that of the present, but rather, the only choice there is, is whether to see Truth or to see what is false, or avidya-illusions. That of which I have chosen to interpret in my brain-mind faculties has “sacrificed” Christed Vision. And so right now, in this Holy Instant, in conscious Yoga-Union and Communion with God Mind, I choose differently, so that I can see only the good, the holy, and the beautiful.


DAY 10
The pulsations of quantum energy and information, the building blocks of thought, heard in the brain-mind field, that take on many degrees of intensity and whirl at all kinds of speeds, colors, affects, moods, and qualities of dark, light, and admixed energies are devoid of meaning due to the fact that they are neutral. My mind is a blank slate that experiences fluctuations of chitta-mind stuff or vritti-feeling, but it still is a fact that I have a mind aligned with stillness, with the zero point of total neutrality in the Holy Instant of now. I am awareness not identified with thought nor with what arises in the mind, pretending to be significant, dramatic, spectacular, and intensely distracting and disturbing. Thoughts do not control me, nor the substance behind them. Within the perfect stillness I am immune to misery making and liberated from suffering. Affirming this reality and mind science I form the basis for Radical Right Awareness, attention to the Primordial State of Oneness, and open to the flow of Bliss-Peace nectar of Heaven within perfect silence.


I am only aware of privatized, individual thoughts though I have no privatized, isolated thoughts. My only Real Thoughts are ones I have in alignment with my Source. Perfect Peace and Oneness allows me to think only with the Blissful Thoughts of Divine Mind and the identity I share with all brothers and sisters in the Christ Mind. My individual thought forms and their vibrational frequencies mean nothing because they are not real in comparison to the Causal-Ideational Thoughts I think with my Supernal Parents. Subjective whirlpools of thought current and fluctuations within my individual, private, split mind are not real because they do not come from the Primordial Formless Light of Divinity.


A subject that hits close to home with me and my lineage is mental illness, specifically psychosis, mood disorders, and depression. I think about the generation I have grown up in and things are certainly a lot  different in psychiatric circles than they were back in the 1950s. Drug Therapy was new then and it led to a lot of breakthroughs in the clinical field of psychiatry. My father-in-law had worked at a Veteran’s Hospital in a psychiatric unit when he was 18. That was a long time ago. He talked first hand about things I have seen in movies and in books, like electro-shock therapy and even frontal lobe lobotomies. For the sake of those who I see suffer, I am thankful for the advances in therapies and the move away from state institutions for the primary care of those afflicted with mental illnesses.

Psychiatrists of the present are filling a role that priests of the past did in terms of dealing with dangerous, volatile, evil pathology. Possession by a demonic spirit, or a wayward spirit for that matter, to many is a medieval concept now. Much  more is known about mental health, behavior and emotional problems, and psychosis. Gerald May wrote a book that compared diagnoses from the DSM-IV, listing psychopathology and states of spiritual turmoil. The book I am referring to is Care of Mind, Care of Spirit. May is also the well-known author of the book The Dark Night of the Soul. Having worked in the mental health field as a crisis counselor, I have seen first hand what emotional disturbance looks like in a stress filled or fight or flight moment.

When I was dating my wife she took a class in Psychopathology. During that time she shared with me an article she had read about Catholic priests who refused pastoral care and exorcism to mentally ill patients. So, as I mentioned, the role of psychiatrists has evolved in according to May, psychiatrists are the modern day priesthood. So much has been learned about psychosis, the brain, psychology, behavior, abnormal psychology, and “the mind”, that have led to many advancements in the treatment of chronic and organic mental disorders. When I worked as a crisis counselor, what some would call emotional disturbance or escalation of afflictive emotions, appeared like evil entities who had entered the bodies of the patients I served.

A concept that has revolutionized my thinking about psychological suffering versus the issue of possession by a spirit, is a phrase coined by spiritual thinker, Eckhart Tolle. Tolle is an enlightened teacher not affiliated with any particular religion. What he called the pain-body, has inspired Catholic priest Richard Rohr in his talks about violent behavior and spirituality. Rohr specifically talks about the biblical notion of “driving out demons” and relates it to Tolle’s ideas about the pain-body.

The key to understanding pain, is to (if mentally able) check how aware you may or may not be in the present moment. Tolle’s best selling book The Power of Now, deals directly what I have mentioned about pain and its cumulative effect on the well-being of an individual. He says that emotional pain leaves behind a residue that gets lodged in your body and mind. When you include pain you experienced as a child, from intimate relationships, family dysfunction, patterns of rejection or abandonment (my emphasis), then there is an accumulated source of pain that exists as a negative energy field. As mentioned this occupies your body and mind. When looked at as an invisible “agent” or “energy field”, it can rightfully be called the pain-body.

The pain-body can be both dormant and active. For those in whom, it lies dormant, it can be triggered by any number of things. Whether active or dormant in a person, it particularly can be triggered by anything that resonates with a pain pattern of the past. When awakened from its dormant stage, even a thought or an innocent remark made by someone close to you can activate it.

Tolle says that some pain-bodies are “obnoxious”, but “relatively harmless”, while others are “vicious and destructive monsters”, “true demons“. Some are even physically violent any many more are emotionally violent. He goes on to say that some will attack people you surround yourself with and others may attack you, as its host. Then what happens is your thoughts and feelings which you have about your life then become “deeply negative”, and “self-destructive.” This is something to take serious, because illnesses and unplanned accidents can happen as a result of this. Even worse, certain pain-bodies can corrupt a person into committing suicide.

So, how do you recognize the pain body trying to take control of your being? Tolle advocates watching for unhappiness in one’s self. That sounds generic, but whatever form unhappiness takes, there are warning signs. Irritation. Impatience. A somber mood. A desire to hurt. Anger, rage, depression, or a need to have drama in one of your relationships. He says to recognize it the moment it awakens from its dormant state.

The pain-body’s desire is to “survive” and the only way it can do that is to get you to unconsciously identify with it. Once that happens, it can “rise up”, “take you over”, “become you”, and “live through you”. It needs to get its “food” through you and will try to feed on any experience that “resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness.”

When the pain-body has taken you over, what happens? Well, you want more pain. You become one of two things, a victim or a perpetrator. So, what drives the pain-body at this point? You/it wants to “inflict pain”, or you/it wants to “suffer pain”, or both. To continue to further describe its nature, the pain-body is the “dark shadow cast by the ego” and is afraid of the “light of your consciousness”. The pain-body has a fear. A fear of being found out. The reason it feels this way is because its entire survival depends on “your unconscious identification with it” and on your unconscious fear meeting the pain that lives in you face to face. Tolle stresses the importance of facing your pain, for if you don’t bring the light of your consciousness into the pain, “you will be forced to relive it again and again.”

The pain-body once understood in an objective way, may seem like a dangerous monster, something you can’t find the strength to look at because it is too hideous. Tolle, who understands this phenomena with great authority and tact, assures us in The Power of Now, that the pain-body is an insubstantial phantom, that cannot prevail against the power of “your presence”. A phantom? This sounds like a spirit? So, were those Catholic priests in the wrong or were they just not educated in the way Tolle is about such a reality.

Having come full circle with the description of the pain-body, a question was posed to Tolle, in the chapter titled “Consciousness: The Way Out of Pain” (from which I have been quoting. Someone wanted to know what happens to the pain-body when a person becomes conscious enough to break their identification with it. His response was such that, “unconsciousness creates it; consciousness transmutes it into itself.”  He went on to quote St. Paul, who he believed expressed “the universal principle beautifully”. St. Paul said, “Everything is shown up by being exposed to the light, and whatever is exposed to the light itself becomes light.”

In tribute to Eckhart Tolle’s phenomenal teaching that explains the nature of “being possessed”, I will publicly agree with him. He says,”Just as you cannot fight the darkness, you cannot fight the pain-body. Trying to do so would create inner conflict and thus further pain.”

In conclusion, the substance of the pain-body is trapped life-energy that “has split off from one’s total energy field and has “temporarily become autonomous through the unnatural process of ‘mind identification’. ” What happens is it turns in against itself and becomes “anti-life”.  Tolle used the analogy of an animal chasing its tail to describe this. He goes on to talk about the calamities that occur when the ego identifies with the pain-body. I think we’ve all met those self-loathing, or super critical, explosive people.

Messianic Consciousness: The Way to Christhood

A subject that hits close to home with me and my lineage is mental illness, specifically psychosis, mood disorders, and depression. I think about the generation I have grown up in and things are certainly a lot  different in psychiatric circles than they were back in the 1950s. Drug Therapy was new then and it led to a lot of breakthroughs in the clinical field of psychiatry. My father-in-law had worked at a Veteran’s Hospital in a psychiatric unit when he was 18. That was a long time ago. He talked first hand about things I have seen in movies and in books, like electro-shock therapy and even frontal lobe lobotomies. For the sake of those who I see suffer, I am thankful for the advances in therapies and the move away from state institutions for the primary care of those afflicted with mental illnesses.

Psychiatrists of the present are…

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