DAY 63

When I forgive, extending the Light, Liberation, and Love of the world, the gift of shanti-peace blesses every mind. I help bring stillness, silence, and calmness to them by surrendering my avidya-illusions that blind me from being Perfect Love and Radiant Light.


I am One. I am Whole. I have the ability to bring shanti-peace to all minds, everywhere, who seem to be far from Home, but in Reality are just dreaming in delusion as am I. I am a vessel of Divine Love when I acknowledge that shanti-peace and liberation from the dream of being in a hell of confinement, lack, and limitation. Extending Light and Love, while Liberating brings me extreme santosha-contentment and everlasting happiness.


I affirm that I am the light and love of the world. My purpose is to Liberate minds from the dream world that is a most unwelcome substitute for the Reality of the Cosmos, the Causal realm. Christ the Son, who I am One with, depends on me to carry out such an important purpose. I can give deep shanti-peace and the Light of Love, offering moksha-Liberation, because it is mine to share. I will not forget what I am capable of doing, nor be blinded by unharnessed desires and attachments to a false-identity. I will let nothing obstruct me from offering the gift of shanti-peace to every mind. By accepting moksha-Liberation from karma and compulsions, I can freely fulfill my purpose while dreaming of being in this world.


I will remember my function often today. I begin today by affirming that I am the light and love of the world and end the day centering on this idea as well. Throughout the day I will affirm the following:


“When I forgive, extending the Light, Liberation, and Love of the world, the gift of shanti-peace blesses every mind. I help bring stillness, silence, and calmness to them by surrendering my avidya-illusions that blind me from being Perfect Love and Radiant Light. I am the instrument God Mind Presence has selected to Liberate the world from suffering, pain, and neurotic guilt.”


Whenever possible I will turn inward and close my eyes while centering on this affirmation. All my brothers and sisters in spirit look to me for moksha-Liberation, brought about by complete forgiveness of all I thought disturbed me or robbed me of shanti-peace in this life. Nothing separates me from my brothers and sisters but grievances and projected guilt. I release them freely this day, so as to allow the Divine Mother, the Holy Spirit to Love and forgive freely through me. Forgiveness can do anything and everything my limited mind thinks is impossible. I absolve because I am absolved of all karmic and samskaric-tendencies to be kept in a hell of my own making.

The Calm Inner Light Infusion Diksha


NOTE: This is from my book “Light Transmissions” and the audio version can be found on the right side bar on this site. You can also listen to the audio version at where you can actually purchase the track if you so choose.

Items needed
White novena candle

Sit in the lotus position with your spine straight. Or sit on the edge of a chair with your feet flat on the ground. Chin parallel to the ground and your spine straight.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: Where I am going it is frightening. But I must go. This candle lit before me is symbolic of what I must reclaim within my being. That much I know. I am naked without it. In the dark. Asleep at the wheel of life. Driving down a winding road, not clear of my destination. I will reclaim what is mine. The Calm Inner Light. I seek this infusion. In this diksha. Another empowerment of the divine indwelling GodSelf I must re-awaken.

A radiant, crystalline figure appears. It is your Higher GodSelf-Spark Angelic Presence. It says nothing but bows before you. “Reach out your hand,” it says. You hesitate.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: (asks) “Who are you?”

GODSELF-SPARK: “The God-Spark within you, projected outwards for you to see, plain as the day you chose to incarnate again, to fuse with the light of conception in your mother’s body.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: “What do you want?” you ask.


GODSELF-SPARK: “For you to be free. Take this.” The God-Spark Higher Self hands you a sparkling silver key.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: “What is this for?” you ask.

GODSELF-SPARK: “To unlock the Light of the World within you. The Blessed Hope of Wholeness found only in the Basement beneath your present moment awareness. You need but free the Light and Life Power for your further evolution in consciousness. To Transcend the limitations you have allowed to overtake you since childhood. It is time to silence the suffering Light-Child within to tune in to the Radio Station of the Divine Frequency that speaks to you all throughout the day, every day, which you but need to hear, to Unleash Infinity and Abundance. Success and Amazement. Hope and Holy Perception. To see and hear clearly in every moment where the Ruach or Spirit Breath of God fills you with the sustenance of Life. I will take you to where you must go. To face the prisoner who keeps you imprisoned. It is time to Liberate your Life. Travel once more, into the trenches of your subconsciousness. This is a journey everyone must take at one time or another. If they want to have true wholeness and Restoration of the Calm Inner Light to Shine in the darkness of mis-created worlds you call real, but that will only perish because they are not everlasting. Here. Read this before we leave.”


Your Projected God-Spark-Thought Adjuster and Higher Self hands you a scroll. You open it and read it.


WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: I am loved. So I am love. So I will love.
God-Current. God-Life. Vital Force. The vital force circuitry, the blood of the Father-Mother within me, You connect me to the Source of all Life, which is Light. The light of the Light-Continuum. Rays of brilliant light pierce my heart chakra and illuminate this most intelligent transformer of your Life Force Power that distributes Your Essence, this, your Blood of Light-Life-Healing throughout my energy body. Numinosity fills every cell, every tissue, every muscle, every bone, descends into my marrow. This Golden Blood-Light is the Radiance of the Solar Light. You illumine me, you fill me to overflowing. Blood of Gold, transmuting consciousness flame. Flow through me now. The inner torch to guide me on this descent.


A crystalline orb in their hand glows outward in every direction. It’s wattage is brighter than any light you have seen before.

GODSELF-SPARK: I will show you the way down into your internal Gehenna. But you must take this light when I tell you. Then I will leave and you, and with that key, you….well, you will know what you must do.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: How will I know?

GODSELF-SPARK: It is then, I will return to my rightful place within you. Close your eyes. Grab my hand.


You see the glow of light coming from the orb. It is so strong that it seems to be coming from within you.


GODSELF-SPARK: Count backwards with me from ten. Stopping after seven, listening to my command and stopping again after three to listen to my command. When we get to zero, you will enter “deep sleep”.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE & GOD-SPARK: Ten, nine, eight, seven, deeper, six, five, four, three, going deeper, two, one, zero. Zero is always, “Deep sleep.”


In an instant you feel a strong magnetic pull in your spine, downwards. This is your descent into the realms of the underworld within, that of the subconscious. The Light of the God-Spark companion pierces every dark corner of the cavern, the cave, the abyss underneath the surface awareness, beneath the normal level of awareness. The God-Spark shines light, circling this “inner chamber of fragmentation.” In the point between the eyebrows, your eyes still closed, you see many shadowy figures.

GODSELF-SPARK: You will come for them another time. We don’t have enough light to take them all with us right now.

You wonder who these shadowy figures are. You hear whispers coming from them. Some voices are audible. Negative. Attacking. Coming from misery and pain.

Then the GODSELF-SPARK shines the bright light on a familiar child’s body who is chained to a wall, down in Eden’s Basement. Again, you see this at the point between your eyebrows, eyes still closed. This child is malnourished, but his/her face resembles a clown-doll, painted red and blue. This is the inner critical figure that fights for your attention, to have its needs resolved, to have its revenge on you and all those who have hurt you. The child is nine years old. Its hunger is evident. He/She is emaciated.

Carried by a chariot of discriminating God Mind Power, you realize that it is time to face this Inner immature critic that subconsciously wants you to sink into the quicksand of the negativity that lurks below the surface of waking consciousness.

You approach the child with the GODSELF-SPARK. When you reach the proximity of four feet away, the child, who you think is sleeping, lashes out at you with the most horrendously, terror-laden voice. You think to yourself, that the familiar child is filled with a torturing spirit.

GODSELF-SPARK: He/She has been down here for a long time. Too long. Only you can rescue this child. As I told you, I must go.

WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE: Wait! You said I would know what to do? How? I don’t know.

GODSELF-SPARK: Open your eyes. And watch this.


Right then, the GODSELF-SPARK ANGELIC PRESENCE metamorphosizes before you into a fluid river of golden blood, life force light. The light begins to flow into your Christed Third Eye, enters your brain, illuminates it and opens upward, the thousand petaled lotus flower at your crown chakra a top of your head. A beam of even stronger violet-rayed light comes from above and enters this portal, this vortex, this spinning wheel at your crown. You feel so alive. Filled to overflowing. This is a feeling that you remember, but don’t know from where or when you last “knew” this Presence. You hear the GODSELF-SPARK within you, the Radiant Calm Inner Light speak to you in a still small voice of intuition.

GODSELF-SPARK: Yes, it’s me. It has always been me. Me in you. The time for you to take notice has been long overdue. Talk to the boy/girl. I know what you are thinking. You know this child. It is your nine-year-old clown-doll self. The part of you that has not been able to resolve many of your childhood need-deprivation responses and all resultant reactivity to being unfulfilled, seemingly abandoned, and all related wounding and rejections. Be careful. This child is pure pain. Filled with hate. It thrives on lashing out.
You now engage in a dialogue with your inner critical child. Find out what it wants. Sit and contemplate the things he or she thinks they need to be happy. Come to an understanding. See the child for what they are. In their pre-wounded state. You spend several minutes with the inner child, who tells you all its frustrations about needs it feels were not met early in life. It tells you how it compensated and changed its “program for happiness”. Heal this child by seeing its God-Likeness. In pure innocence. You shine and channel the light of the GodSelf-Spark into this inner child’s heart. Don’t be intimidated if the child resists the Light-Transmission. Not to worry. The calm inner light is more powerful than egoic self-inflicted suffering. You are taking the nails out of the hands and feet of your inner child, showing it directly that it is forever One with the Life and Current of the Divine Consciousness. Fuse and become one with this child. See the GodSelf within this child. This will set them free. After several moments, who you really are speaks.

WHO YOU REALLY ARE: I am one with the Presence of God within me. I am one with the Spirit of God within me. I am one with the Life Force Power of God within me. I am one in essence of the God Amazement within me.

The Child joins in and you say in unison:

I accept this moment. I accept you. I accept me in you. I am calm. I am calm I am free. I am calm. I am peace. I am free in the light of God Radiance shining through me, the river of the truth-light continuum coursing through my veins, my nervous system, comingling with my blood, informing my neurons, making new neural pathways, healthy canals that replace the grooves of worn out mis-perceptions.

This is an ending and beginning, rather an ever beginning, ever-becoming. Forever one. You grab the child’s hand and lead them out of this subconscious, subterranean dungeon and set them free, guiding them out of the darkness with the Calm Inner Light.


This entry was originally posted in the blog Holy Fire by Brother Bryan in August 2009.

As I say in the the subject of this blog, Enlightenment (an inner experience of the Kingdom of God or His Ecstatic Love) and Illumination are not things that can be achieved or earned by following all the rules. Don’t get me wrong, having boundaries is a necessary part of the process of healthy development of one’s sense of self. But rigidly adhering to them, and priding one’s self for doing so, won’t get you that taste of Heaven’s Banquet any more or any quicker than the person who radiates joy, acceptance, and peace. Not even quicker than someone who acts compulsively, irrationally, or impulsively, in many cases rejecting the Love and Power of God’s grace. Father Richard Rohr, OFM has spoken about what he calls “the performance principle”. In addition to refuting the importance many people place on being part of an “in group” or the “chosen religion”, what he calls “tribal religion”, he says that people come to the experience of God’s mercy and love by doing it wrong, by a “spirituality of imperfection.” Don’t misread this; he doesn’t say sin freely and be a heathen. He just honestly admits, including himself in the reality he speaks of, that this is the pattern. Of being lost then found. The parable of the prodigal son is very significant to the pattern of behavior and complacency we have towards God the Father’s hopes for us and how he welcomes us with open arms when we go astray and choose to return.What I am driving towards, is a sort of surrendured stance, a definite kind of humility. Enlightenment and Illumination are terms that most Christians don’t use freely or regularly. Gnostic Christianity does along with other esoteric based religions. God is light in addition to all other aspects we are told about. Having experiences of light or even seeing apparitions don’t make you an Enlightened person who is automatically initiated into the Kingdom of God. Such experiences may preceed a series of mystical experiences, that I can attest to. But for me or any one else, other than maybe Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, and Lao-Tzu if they were here on earth today, to say “I am enlightened” and to proclaim it as an absolute state of mind that they exist in apart from others, is border line heresy and a claim made by an inflated ego. I have been influenced by German spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. He says that at the age of 29, he had an enlightening experience that changed his life. If I have heard him correctly, he never has said or written that he is in an “enlightened state” nor in a “privileged state of consciousness” that is somehow superior to the masses of ignorant people that walk the planet sleepwalking so to speak. He is grounded. He actually talks about what Jesus made clear to his those who desired to follow him, that they would have to pick up their crosses and walk the same journey as he did, maybe not to martyrdom, but to powerlessness and surrender to the Absolute Love and Will of God. Rohr and other more progressive Catholics have spoke of experiencing The Christ-Self within or the Buddha nature. In doing so, they speak of a state of Awake, Alert, Sober, Entrainment of Mind and Heart. Jesus, most radically, connected His earthly body in the experiences or encounters with God, thereby uniting the human and the divine in a way that NO OTHER SPIRITUAL TEACHER ever has. Jesus took an established pattern in nature, of life, death, and rebirth (resurrection) and turned the tables on it. In Catholic circles you hear about the Paschal Mystery, “Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.” In defense of those who believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, and to those who are curious about this reality, the experience of Illumination or Enlightenment is found in the encounter and eating of the Divine Substance, not just taking place in a corporal nature, but in a light filled mystical occurrence, whether through the gift of tears, intense, deep peace, or unspeakable ecstasy and joy. These emotions are not experienced at the expense of a Christ who is crucified over and over in a cannibalistic way, but rather through the vehicle of his risen glorified body – one that serves as a promise for us in the resurrection. In my seminary training as a student of Christian gnosticism, I was told that the “Archons” or Fallen Demonic Intelligences created as the result of a cosmic tragedy (the birth of a light being who became a lesser god, than the Ineffable, Incorruptible Father-Mother) feed off of the sacrifice of the Mass and get people who consume Christ’s Body and Blood to experience “false enlightenment” so that they will remain addicted to the sacrament and ignorant, the only sin in gnostic theology. I don’t commit myself to eating and drinking from a corpse. The sacred meal is much more than that, both a thanksgiving/remembrance of the very life Christ lived in this world and the radiance of Light he brought to those in darkness or illusion (both words I chose to substitute for sin).In summary, with the exception of Roman Catholics who exclude those not of their denomination from receiving the Eucharist, even if a person whole-heartedly believes in transubstantiation and humbly wants to receive the Elements, the gift of Christ’s Real Presence is freely given, not only through the Eucharist or Holy Communion, but in fire and spirit longing to be incarnate or impregnated in everyone. Regularly giving thanks/remembrance and partaking in the foretaste of Heaven’s Banquet will bring Divine Light to you and continually transform you, to allow God to reveal Himself/Herself to you with an Intensity no human can replicate by their own doing. Illumination can happen in every experience of the Eucharist, even if you see it as a symbol of Christ’s love and mercy (God is not limited by human restrictions or metaphors or lack of metaphors). Enlightenment, or the state of grace, or the inner condition of the Kingdom of God, I must confess comes and goes. It’s like losing it then finding it again. The minute we think we have it all, it dissipates. Don’t misunderstand me, God is not a tease. But He/She gives us just what we need as much as we need it, almost careful not to spoil the surprise granted to those who seek Him/Her in this world and the next. As an ascended master who appeared to a man who now is a well known teacher of A COURSE IN MIRACLES said, “heaven is like the perfect orgasm that never stops.” I must conclude that though I believe celibacy should be a choice, not a mandate, those who offer up their sexuality in exchange for union with God in the strictest sense can still know what that feeling is like, for there is no marrying in Heaven. This is not a commentary or a chance to provoke debate about mandatory celibacy for vowed religious. I’m just saying, if we “walk the walk” not just “talk the talk” we all are in for a truly ineffable experience. Alleluia!!!