The End of Doubt

It has been a long time since I put a post on here. Maybe it is because I felt that I did not or could not give a voice to what I have been experiencing in my interior and exterior life. Without getting too personal, I have spent time facing my darkest fears. And I have shined light on many dark and hidden places. But the good news, is that I have emerged a more peaceful, aware, and accepting person. Isn’t that what we are all called to, after all?

We all, if we were honest, get attached to self-definitions, to self-concepts and ideas we have constructed in our dualistic minds, about who we think we are. In a world, where like never before in this universe’s history, where we are all concerned about the possibility of “identity theft”, many of us, if we would really admit it, are confused at the deepest level of our unconscious minds, unsure of who we are and what we are supposed to be doing – knowing our calling, rather.

We all look for answers in times of uncertainty and doubt. I think back to more than twenty years ago and remember believing “I had it all figured out”, knowing exactly where I was headed. Well, with total certainty, I can say that that 22-year-old had no clue about living in this world and what it meant to be “living his purpose”.

In twenty years of evolving, soul-searching, changing, struggling, and going back a ways, facing despair and a spiritual emergency at one point, the whole journey has been about “finding” myself. Who am I?

A child of the Divine. An offspring of the Primordial Cosmic Ground of Being. Safe at home in what Taoists call the Wuji State. In the embrace of the Almighty Lover, the only Source (and that can be seen as taking on so many different images – though we can never create an image of the very thing that is beyond comprehension). All the fear, the insecurity, the escape from responsibility, and pushing people who mattered out of my inner circle, so to speak – it was all done in an effort to be, what I already was (and had)! I feel like I have arrived. Been through what I call the “rebirthing matrix”.

No title, nor degree, or certification, or credentials could name me. I, like you am a beloved of the Divine. Today, I can say with confidence and assurance, that I accept that. And it feels so serene and calm. I survived life’s storms (though there are sure to be more). I have found my rock, on which I have built the temple of my soul, so I can share more fully, love more compassionately, and dream a collective, new, more beautiful world into being – just by doing my part. By being self-aware. Forget all the mystical experiences and abilities I have acquired. Those were only important in getting me to this moment. The NOW!

Now I have a responsibility. To continue to walk the path, not just through what many people mistakenly call, “faith” (when they really mean belief), but rather as a great biblical scholar and guardian of the Pre-Christian Teachings of Yeshua (Jesus) has pointed out in his written and oral ministry, I need to be “faithful” and to “persevere”. I would add, I need to be true to the calling I have heard in my heart. To become a mystic activist, getting involved in helping to bring liberation and peace to this world. Some believe there is only one ‘messiah’. Some are still waiting for that person to come. I am boldly going to echo what many of my mentors have told me – you, me, and all of us, are the chosen of God, called to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and to forgive always, seeing the dignity and worth of every incarnate soul. So, I am challenging you – to put an end to your doubts about who you think or thought you are or were…. WE ALL NEED TO STAND UP TO RECEIVE THE DISPENSATION, to be ANOINTED, as Light-Bearers, whether you want to call it the Christ, the Krishna, the Buddha, the True Self, the Atman. . . there is no right word to describe what we all must have the courage to become. Know, you are called, as am I, to help liberate and though I hate using this word – to ‘save’, NO, to “LOVE” (not convert to any belief system either) this world and all of creation, by awakening to the truth that we can live here and make a difference. So, let us put self-interest aside, and restore HOPE where there is none. PEACE where there is chaos. JOY to those who are disheartened.

In Love, out of Love. Thank you for your time.

 

CHRIST REALIZATION YOGA – DAY 65

DAY 65

The Divine Father-Mother created me through the extension of Love. When I rebelled against God and decided to make this world along with the collective ego-ahamkar, I was given a correction for the separation I participated in. I was given one purpose in this mayaic dream world, to forgive others by being the Love, the Light, the Christ, and Liberation of it.

 

I commit to Liberation by embracing today’s affirmation. Contemplating it reinforces to me that I have no other purpose but to Love and Liberate through forgiveness. Today I make a total covenant with the Father-Mother to embrace my purpose. I want the moksha Liberation of others from pain and guilt to be my only purpose, so I therefore release my attachment to other purposes I have admired.

 

There are two aspects to my full embracing of moksha Liberation being the impetus behind my true purpose to forgive. The first is to recognize moksha Liberation as my ultimate focus, and the second is to let go of all other pursuits I have contrived in this motion picturedream life. This is how I take on the mantle as one among many messiahs of this world among other worlds made by individual egoic-ahamkar minds. Accepting that role is the one and only way to proclaim and mean that “I was given one purpose in this mayaic dream world, to forgive others by being the Love, the Light, the Christ, and Liberation of it.” By doing this I will find santosha-contentment and shanti peace for and in my mind. The thought waves and fluctuations in my brain will then be magnetically charged with positivity by the Higher Mind in me.

 

Today and in several days to follow, I will reserve ten to fifteen minutes during the course of the day for extended meditation on the true meaning of today’s idea. I want to be free by releasing burdens, projected blame, and any feelings related to shame stemming from attack thoughts I may hold in my mind. Being the Liberation of the world, becoming a joint messiah gives me the fulfillment I have been hoping to find since the beginning of the illusion of time.

 

I will engage with the affirms at the same time each day, that is for the extended practice time. Determining it now, before hand will help to cement in and make me commit to remaining faithful to the time spent in meditation. I need to do this to have a fixed time set aside for communing in yoga-union with God and also having time for the mundane and changing tasks of each day. Jeshua says that this is part of disciplining the mind for the scope of long term growth all so that the Holy Spirit Mother can use this carved out time for communion and ananda-bliss.

 

To practice in a given sitting, I will contemplate today’s affirmation. Then I will close my eyes, repeat what I have said either mentally or out loud, and observe the mind with discrimination to see what thoughts may enter its field of awareness. When I am in the early phase of practice, it is okay to let unrelated thoughts come into my mind. The goal is to dig up all that surfaces to interfere with my contemplation. I will take notice of each thought that fluxuates in my brain-mind field giving it them little significance. I will remain detached and will refute each one by saying:

 

This thought I do not want. It represents a hindrance to attaining my only purpose.

 

What I will discover is that intrusive thoughts will diminish. But, I will attempt to forego the effects of any possible thoughts coming into the brain-mind field for a minute or so longer so as to catch any trivial ones that my have found their way in past my filtering faculty. I will not apply this additional effort with force. Instead I will affirm:

 

On this tabula rasa, this blank slate, is written my true purpose and calling.

 

To finish the practice, I will recite today’s affirmation idea once again and spend the rest of the practice time meditating on its value and significance. I will also be grateful for the healing aid acceptance of it brings for its ability to put an end to discord within, and satisfying the full measure to which I want Liberation regardless of the ignorant attempts I may engage in to block all its positive effects from being magnetically attracted to me through vibrational form.

I will also utilize shorter practice periods, every possible hour I can on the hour and say:

 

The Divine Father-Mother created me through the extension of love. When I rebelled against God and decided to make this world along with the collective ego-ahamkar, I was given a correction for the separation I participated in. I was given one purpose in this mayaic dream world, to forgive others by being the Love, the Light, the Christ, and Liberation of it.I want no other calling and this is all I am meant to do.

 

At times during my practice I will close my eyes, while at others I will scan the apparent outside environment around me. What I envision now will take on a whole different meaning when I do this.

CHRIST REALIZATION YOGA – DAY # 64

DAY 64

I will remember my purpose here in this dream world, in a seeming physical body, surrounded by what seems to be form in action. I will remember to forgive all people and all apparent happenings, thereby extending the Creation, Communication, and Love of God that still resides in Paradise Oneness.

 

I will not wander in the desert wilderness of temptations. Nor will I fail the test that the ego-ahamkar places upon me, trying to challenge my faith in the ability to offer miracles of forgiveness and thereby, the correction of the Atonement or At-One-Ment.

 

The world challenges me with opposition, trying to cloud my one true purpose, trying to get me to forget the joy that forgiving brings. The ego-ahamkar tempts me to materialize moment after moment and call this appearance the Son/Daughter of God-Mind Presence, when it is not. The Son/Daughter of God is eternal and only assumes appearances in form that are fleeting. The physical body’s eyes simply look upon what doesn’t last.

 

The physical body’s eyes seem to see, but this is not sight. This is seeing masked behind temptation. Taking on a physical and material body was a temptation that arose out of a field of all possibilities and potential. I fell into matter. I chose this incarnation to work out and dissolve karma, born with samskaric-tendency impulses brought from past incarnations.

 

The Divine Mother, the Holy Spirit, Kundalini Fire and Desire Energy at the center of my True Being has an important purpose. To use avidya-illusions, the temptations to make form seem real and to turn the tables on them. To forgive them. The ego-ahamkar tries to convince me I have sinned, acting as an inner “accuser”, a “critic”, a voice of condemnation. The Holy Spirit lets me look upon what the ego-ahamkar calls sin and merely dissolves and undoes what never was in actuality. It looks on my would be sins and calls them mistakes to correct. To forgive. To release.

 

Looking back at the previous few lessons, my purpose while here on earth or in any other dimension I appear to be in is to be the Light, Liberation, and Love that shines away all darkness.  This purpose was an innate gift and responsibility from God Mind Presence. The ego-ahamkar is inflated by nature and would have me doubt this purpose, which is to forgive and bless. By fearing the ego-ahamkar, trying to make it real, I sometimes doubt my ability to extend love, offer miracles of forgiveness, and bring Liberation to the world. I can join in the effort with other messiahs by offering miracles of forgiveness to bring true and lasting freedom to this world, to help aid in the release from avidya-illusions of others and the ones I am responsible for, thereby taking the attraction of the manas-sense mind’s temptations to believe in what is false. Every mind and I are the Sons/Daughters of God, the one creation only appearing to be many.

 

I will remind myself to forgive, be the Light, to Love, and to Liberate in the morning, at night and all throughout the day. For everything I decide, I will make the pre-decision to offer miracles of forgiveness. My decision has the power to bring me bliss, santosha-contentment, or suffering. The decision is simple. I know what I need to do. I will not be deceived by the forms decisions seem to take, discerning, rather their intentions. I have but one choice. To choose in favor of form or in the truth that lies beyond form.

 

Today, I affirm these thoughts:

 

“I will remember my purpose here in this dream world, in a seeming physical body, surrounded by what seems to be form in action. I will remember to forgive all people and all apparent happenings, thereby extending the Creation, Communication, and Love of God that still resides in Paradise Oneness. I will refrain from replacing what I think is my purpose for God’s. I want to be supremely content.”

 

For one sitting, I will devote fifteen minutes with eyes closed, shutting out the external world, to contemplating this very idea. I trust that relevant thoughts will support me and my efforts to integrate the core meaning of this affirmation.

 

I will also commit to two shorter sittings, sometimes closing my eyes, and sometimes leaving them open, concentrating on thoughts that relate to the affirmation of truth. When I have my eyes open, I will say:

 

“This is the world that I am to Liberate, Love, and forgive. I see only sinlessness. I, therefore awaken to the truth of my being.”  

CHRIST REALIZATION YOGA DAY # 63

DAY 63

When I forgive, extending the Light, Liberation, and Love of the world, the gift of shanti-peace blesses every mind. I help bring stillness, silence, and calmness to them by surrendering my avidya-illusions that blind me from being Perfect Love and Radiant Light.

 

I am One. I am Whole. I have the ability to bring shanti-peace to all minds, everywhere, who seem to be far from Home, but in Reality are just dreaming in delusion as am I. I am a vessel of Divine Love when I acknowledge that shanti-peace and liberation from the dream of being in a hell of confinement, lack, and limitation. Extending Light and Love, while Liberating brings me extreme santosha-contentment and everlasting happiness.

 

I affirm that I am the light and love of the world. My purpose is to Liberate minds from the dream world that is a most unwelcome substitute for the Reality of the Cosmos, the Causal realm. Christ the Son, who I am One with, depends on me to carry out such an important purpose. I can give deep shanti-peace and the Light of Love, offering moksha-Liberation, because it is mine to share. I will not forget what I am capable of doing, nor be blinded by unharnessed desires and attachments to a false-identity. I will let nothing obstruct me from offering the gift of shanti-peace to every mind. By accepting moksha-Liberation from karma and compulsions, I can freely fulfill my purpose while dreaming of being in this world.

 

I will remember my function often today. I begin today by affirming that I am the light and love of the world and end the day centering on this idea as well. Throughout the day I will affirm the following:

 

“When I forgive, extending the Light, Liberation, and Love of the world, the gift of shanti-peace blesses every mind. I help bring stillness, silence, and calmness to them by surrendering my avidya-illusions that blind me from being Perfect Love and Radiant Light. I am the instrument God Mind Presence has selected to Liberate the world from suffering, pain, and neurotic guilt.”

 

Whenever possible I will turn inward and close my eyes while centering on this affirmation. All my brothers and sisters in spirit look to me for moksha-Liberation, brought about by complete forgiveness of all I thought disturbed me or robbed me of shanti-peace in this life. Nothing separates me from my brothers and sisters but grievances and projected guilt. I release them freely this day, so as to allow the Divine Mother, the Holy Spirit to Love and forgive freely through me. Forgiveness can do anything and everything my limited mind thinks is impossible. I absolve because I am absolved of all karmic and samskaric-tendencies to be kept in a hell of my own making.

Christ Realization Yoga Day # 62

DAY 62

Forgiving and releasing is my purpose as the Light and Liberation of the world. Forgiving and releasing in Love is my vocation.

 

My willingness to forgive and release will shine light into the darkness, bringing it out of the hidden shadows. It is through forgiving and releasing that I will truly know through gnosis, the light through which I can see. By forgiving and releasing, I am showing the very fact that I am indeed the Light and Liberation and Love of the world. Through these acts and states of being, the remembrance of my True Self returns to me. For that reason, in forgiving and releasing  I liberate myself, my brothers and sisters in spirit, and the world.

Avidya-illusions with regards to myself and the world are one and the same. Because of this by forgiving and releasing I am really giving a most hallowed gift to myself. My main purpose on this journey is to awaken to who I really am, for I have assaulted and attacked true creation and the Source of all real creation which exists outside of time and space forever. I am starting to acquire knowledge about how the remembering of truth takes place. All assault, mental, physical, and verbal must be substituted by forgiving and releasing, in order for thought vibrations and fluctuations of the essence of life and life force prana to replace all thoughts of terminal death.

Every time I choose to assault, I am drawing on my weakened nature, but when I forgive and release I invoke the strength of the indwelling Christ. I can start to Realize what these functions will enable me to do. By forgiving and releasing I can eradicate all accumulated weakness, strain, and fatigue from my all powerful mind. More importantly, it will dissolve all karma, terror, guilt, and suffering from me. Forgiveness and releasement will allow me to reclaim my true nature that cannot be harmed or destroyed or killed, returning me to full Realization of my inherent God-Mind given power.

I will fervently begin and end today by centering and reciting this mantra affirmation, while also harnessing its potential to realign my mind frequently throughout the day. This, I know will bring me and those who seem to be distant from me, supreme santosha-contentment.

Often and whenever possible, I will close my eyes and say:

“Forgiving and releasing is my purpose as the Light and Liberation of the world. Forgiving and releasing in Love is my vocation. I would carry out my purpose so that I may be supremely content.”

After this, I will commit to a minute or two of pondering my purpose and the santosha-contentment and Liberation it will afford me. Should my attention stray, I will repeat the affirmation and in addition, say:

“I will remember my purpose because I want to be supremely content.”

Finally, I will bring every avidya-illusion to the truth, this day, so I can heal, and be released from all attachment, emotional distress, and grievances of every kind. I will end self-crucifixion.